Angel

My mother is my Angel
Of that I know for sure.

Through her seldom smiles 
That last for miles
to the tears she never cries.

My mother is my Angel 
And I am by her side

From "Wake up" in the morning
To "I love you" late at night
I've found my secret Haven 
in Angel's words just like starlight

Angel always seems to listen
Even when I think she's not

I've learned to be forgiving
I've learned to follow dreams
I've learned so much from Angel
I've never fully seen

I have always admired

My angel for her strength
 But mostly for her loving words 
that get me through the day.

My Mother 
My Angel dear
Don't you ever leave me
My own life to steer

before and after

then.

i was the one in the crowd who always stuck out. i was the brightest star, glistening and shining, soaking up the attention from the people below me. i was an 11:11 wish come true, a four leaf clover, a time capsule from your childhood. i was fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies from your mother's kitchen. i was lazy Sunday mornings, and sweet nothings whispered into ears by lovers in hushed corners of the room. i was the little things that meant everything but seemed like nothing at all.

now.

i am an eclipse. the shadow of the one that got away. i am the love song you play over and over at 2 am, wondering where it all went wrong. i exist only in "remember when"s and "used to be"s. i am memories recalled in drunken states of mind, and late night poems by underrated authors. i am broken promises, and forgotten prom dates. i am everything wanted to be lost, and nothing that will ever be found.

At Your Disposal

I've never had confidence issues. I've never had any reason to doubt myself, or a reason to make me think I’m anything less than beautiful.

But then you came along. 

You made me believe I was something special, and for those few weeks I truly felt like it. And when you left, you didn't just take our memories and our story that was only in the prologue.  You took along my confidence, my self-assurance, and any hope I had that love could ever exist between two people.

I was a tall standing redwood and you chopped me down, cutting my branches of life into little pieces that you used to kindle the next fire you start in another girl’s heart.  My love was at your disposal, and you washed me down the drain to flow among the tears that ran down my face. 

Every word that you say is another bitter reminder that I am no longer your She, and you are no longer my He. I wanted so badly to go back and figure out what I did wrong, so maybe I could fix the broken shell of my heart. I had built up a wall so sturdy, so strong, and you had bulldozed right through it with your smile. 

One day, I may forgive you for the pain you have caused me. But I will never forget. 

Descending beauty

A dark staircase, only leading down. 

Despite my mind telling me no, my brain says yes. 

So I descend, into the deep cold dark. 

I'm so far down now, I can't see anything. 

The light from which I came, vanished. 

The only way forward, is to continue down. 

Only darkness laying ahead, alone in the dark. 

My mind keeps playing tricks on me, making every step as terrifying as the last. 

But my heart keeps pushing onward, leading me into the unknown. 

Sometimes I stumble, but my heart helps me right back up. 

Suddenly a light appears, from out of the deep dark. 

After spending so much time in the dark, the light is blinding. 

But despite my mind's warnings, my heart tells me to keep looking. 

Looking at you, my light. 

The prettiest thing I've ever seen, the only way for me to get back up.